The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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