im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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