He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
