I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
