Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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