Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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