she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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