like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
