can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
