Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
