she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
