It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
