so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
