doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
