11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize