I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
