I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
