If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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