She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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