Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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