its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You are a genius and a whore.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
