Its about making memories worth repressing
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
