Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
