Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
