He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
3 2 1 whiskey
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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