you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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