ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Randomize