Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
