My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
