Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
