the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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