Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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