After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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