Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
