Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
