i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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