dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
