Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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