You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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