Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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