PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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