Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
