Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My dad just said "fuck circus"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
