i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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