He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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