you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
