how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
