she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
