Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize