I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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