her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
