peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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