Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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