Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
