someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
