While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
