Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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