yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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