Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
