Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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