Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
