i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm passing your future prison.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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