I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
