bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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