**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize